RECOVER FROM COERCIVE CONTROL
Several years ago, my daughter joined a Christian community. At the time, I gave her my complete support for her life choices. Slowly but surely, things changed.
Documentary
My story of losing my daughter, Ellicia, to a destructive cult was
presented in a 7News Spotlight documentary titled "The Kidney Cult".
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The documentary can be accessed in Australia via 7Plus.
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It also viewable on YouTube under the title:
The Dark Reality of the Kidney Cult
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Losing My Daughter to a Cult
​​Long story short, I was estranged from my daughter due to the leader of her cult, David McKay, accusing me of worshipping the devil. He further defamed me as being a "Luciferian, a Satanist if you like" in a YouTube video. Subsequently, I sued him in a Victorian Civil Court.
McKay was found to have maliciously lied about me in an attempt to drive a wedge between my daughter and I; the video was the "final nail in the coffin". I was awarded $85,000 in damages, plus court costs. Due to McKay's deceptive behaviour, I will probably never see this money, even though it was revealed during the proceedings that he has $100,000+ in overseas bank accounts. Still, the point was made. Cult leaders, like McKay, routinely make up lies and insult "outsiders" as a means of coercive control directed at maintaining control over its members.
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I feel completely stuck. I cannot communicate directly with my daughter by any means. All the emails my emails are read by leadership who do not want Ellicia to have a relationship me. McKay preaches that Luke 14:26 ("If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.") is supposed to be taken literally, therefore, in order to be a good Christian, she is expected to hate me or hate her relationship with me - McKay tries to claim that the two are not the same but I think he's just talking in word salads.
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I've tried to reach out to her in a myriad of ways but nothing I say gets through. For example, if I try to defend myself against the horrible things McKay is saying about me (like calling me a Luciferian), then I get accused of trying to influence my daughter too much.
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I always thought I had good relationship with my daughter. Sure we had our disagreements and conflicts but no more than any other mother-daughter.
I live in hope that Ellicia will one day see the web of manipulation she is caught up. In the meantime, I am raising awareness to help prevent other families the same heartache.